Begin Again by Jane Henry

Author:Jane Henry [Henry, Jane]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blushing Books Publications
Published: 2016-02-15T06:00:00+00:00

Chapter Six

The next few days were almost like the old days. At first, she and Paolo spent more time with each other than they had since before the accident. Meredith still held back, though. She didn't know at first why she did, and it angered her that she wasn't being that attentive, loving... submissive wife she wanted to be, in her mind's eye. She didn't like when her own feelings and reactions confused her, so as she stood over the kitchen sink, washing up the dishes from dinner, she mulled it all over.

Why didn't she put all of her in it? Why wasn't she willing to go back to the way things would be? It was what she'd longed for, prayed for, pined for. But now that they were on the cusp, she couldn't take the plunge.

She thought of the long nights she spent alone. She thought of the desperation she felt, just wanting her husband back. And she thought of how badly she didn't want to go back to that place of feeling utterly alone. As the warm water from the sink trickled over her hand, and she bent to load the dishwasher, she thought of how the day had gone.

It had been time for Paolo's check-up. The plan was, he would go through a battery of tests to see if the therapy he'd undergone had any effect and whether or not he'd be able to walk again. Paolo had sustained a spinal cord injury in the accident. He'd been told if the damage to his spinal cord had been any higher, he'd have lost complete control of his lower body. Meredith could only imagine the blow to his self esteem it would've been for him to rely on her to use the bathroom, and to lose complete sexual function. But he hadn't sustained that bad of an injury. He'd been going to therapy regularly, to help him gain limited use of his lower body.

The check-up hadn't gone too well. Not at all.

In the doctor's office at the end of the visit, the doctor explained that although Paolo had put a great effort into his rehab, it appeared the nerve damage he'd sustained was likely permanent, and he'd reached a threshold.

Paolo had been furious.

"You mean I'm in this wheelchair for life?" he'd said. The doctor, a young man just a few years older than their son, had looked at him sorrowfully.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat it, Paolo. That appears to be very likely."

Paolo hadn't said anything at the time. He'd nodded, and they'd gone home in silence. At dinner, which he'd surprised her by eating with her, he'd still said nothing. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"We'll get through this, honey," she'd said, reaching for her hand. He'd pulled back as if bitten.

"We?" he said, and the instant dismissal of her efforts to support him crashed over her as if he'd thrown ice water in her face.

That was the last he'd said. He mumbled something about going to watch the game, wheeled out to the den, and he was back again.

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